That question is valid and numbness makes sense here. When you feel yourself emotionally detaching and unable to stay present in your day-to-day life, your brain is trying to protect you. Nothing feels coherent and the story doesn’t add up. Your person did what you never thought he’d do.

Every time you ask a valid question about the affair he participated in, he gets defensive and puts a spin on the story to minimize his actions and make you feel like you’re overreacting. YOU’RE NOT OVERREACTING.

This is betrayal trauma and your whole system responding to deception, the way God made it to.

Here are the three ways I help:

Devastation and shock hit you like a car wreck. Life feels blown apart in one moment, and the next moment is still an ordinary day that you still have to function in. You never imagined this would happen in your marriage. You believed faithfulness was a guarantee when you got married. Heck, you’ve been faithful in every way and loyal to a fault. I know you’ve been the wife who truly lives her life to obey and please God, so why did this have to happen?

You’re trying to do life after a secret blew up your marriage. Mundane tasks like washing dishes, answering texts and emails, paying bills, and eating dinner are done while your mind obsesses over every detail of the affair your husband just told you about.

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Therapy for Betrayal in Christian Marriage