Lessons from a Failed Counseling Session That Changed Me
The Failed Counseling Session That Almost Made Me Quit Counseling
I failed.
Not just a small slip-up. Not a “learning curve” moment. I completely bombed a counseling session—and it shook me to my core.
This isn’t just my job—it’s my calling. And I failed.
In the early days of my career about 11 years ago, I watched a couple walk out of my office angrier and more broken than when they walked in. And as I sat there in the deafening silence, shame hit me like a tidal wave.
I was supposed to help save marriages, and instead, I felt like I had just helped end one.
I wanted to quit. A failed counseling session wasn’t in the plan.
But what I didn’t know in that moment? That failure would become the most important lesson of my career.
And what I learned from failing in counseling might just be what you need to hear today.
Why My Failure Felt So Personal
Maybe you know the feeling—the tightness in your chest when you realize you’ve let someone down. The fear that you’re an imposter.
That’s exactly how I felt that day.
I sat there wondering:
Did I make things worse?
Was this my fault?
Am I even supposed to be doing this?
I didn’t just fail at counseling—I felt like I failed God.
And that’s when it hit me: I had been trying to carry something that wasn’t mine to carry.
Follow me on Instagram @savvymarriagerescue
What Went Wrong? My Three Biggest Mistakes
I Thought I Had to Be the Hero
I was so focused on fixing their problems that I completely ignored God’s role in their healing.
I put all the pressure on myself to have the right answers, the perfect advice, and the breakthrough they were desperate for.
But here’s the hard truth: I’m not the Healer—God is.
And the moment I forgot that, I shifted the focus off Him and onto me. That’s why the session crumbled. They didn’t need me. They needed someone to remind them that God was still in the room with them.
What I Changed:
Now, before I start, I cover every session with prayer—real, vulnerable prayer—not just for the couple but for me. I ask God to remove my pride, my fear of failure, and my need to be the “expert” so He can take the lead.
I Ignored My Gut—and God’s Whisper
Halfway through that session, my gut told me to stop. To pause. To pray.
But I didn’t.
I powered through because I was afraid of looking unprepared. I was scared they’d think I didn’t know what I was doing. So instead of following the Holy Spirit’s nudge, I let my fear lead me—and it led me straight into failure.
What I Changed:
Now, I’ve learned to stop mid-session if I feel God stirring. Sometimes that means praying with the couple. Other times, it means asking a hard question or admitting I don’t have all the answers—but we’ll seek them together.
The Moment That Changed Everything
I’ll never forget sitting in my office after they left. I wanted to shut the door, turn off the lights, and pretend that session never happened.
But as I sat there, God spoke to me—not audibly, but deeply.
He whispered, You’re not supposed to have it all together. That’s My job.
And that’s when it hit me: I had been trying to do God’s work without God’s help.
That failure didn’t disqualify me—it equipped me.
It showed me what happens when I rely on my own strength instead of His. And it taught me the one thing every couple sitting in my office needs most: grace.
What This Means for You
You might not be a counselor, but maybe you’ve felt it too—the crushing weight of failing someone you love.
Maybe you said something you can’t take back.
Maybe you shut down when you should’ve spoken up.
Maybe you feel like you’ve prayed every prayer and nothing has changed.
If that’s you, don’t give up.
Because what if your biggest failure isn’t the end?
What if it’s the moment God uses to break through?
Failure Isn’t Final—It’s a Turning Point
I wish I could tell you that I’ve never failed since that day. But I can’t.
What I can tell you is this: I’m not afraid of failure anymore. Not because it’s easy—but because I know God uses it.
I’ve made it my mission to help couples see their brokenness as an invitation for God’s grace.
And I want you to see your failures the same way—whether it’s in your marriage, your faith, or your calling.
God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
And if you’re ready to see what God can do with your mess, I’m here to help.
Ready to Grow from Failure?
If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck in shame and start moving toward faith-filled restoration, I’ve created something for you.
Rebuild and Renew: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Healing After Betrayal.
Because failure doesn’t have to define you. God can use it to refine you.
(Disclaimer: I am licensed to provide therapy and counseling services in the States of Alabama and Tennessee. This blog post does not replace professional help from a mental health provider and is meant for informational and educational purposes only. The information on this blog does not create a therapist-client relationship and I will not be held liable for any damages or losses caused by using the tips and actions shared on this blog. If your situation calls for medical attention or therapeutic intervention, seek the advice of a Licensed Physician or licensed mental health providers in good standing in your local area. Call 911 or go to your nearest Emergency Room if you are in a life threatening or emergent situation. Also, this information is not for those in abusive situations or dealing with someone engaged in criminal acts. If that has happened in your situation, call the authorities and create a safety and exit plan. You don’t have to stay in an unsafe or dangerous situation).
