Healing a Broken Marriage: How God Restored What Felt Lost
Can I be real with you?
My marriage felt shattered. Not cracked—shattered. The kind of brokenness where you wonder, Can this even be fixed? The arguments had worn us down, the silence between us was deafening, and the love that once came so easily felt impossibly out of reach.
I prayed desperate prayers—raw, ugly ones. God, I don’t know where to start. How do I even begin healing a broken marriage like this?
If you’re asking yourself the same question, I want you to know something: God can restore what feels lost. I’ve lived it. I’ve seen Him take the mess I thought was irreparable and make something beautiful out of it.
This isn’t a story of perfection—it’s a story of grace, grit, and letting God do what only He can do. So, pull up a chair, and let me tell you how He healed my broken marriage and how He can heal yours too.
Why Marriages Break
No one goes into marriage expecting it to fall apart. But the truth is, the cracks that break a marriage often form long before you even realize they’re there. For me, it wasn’t one huge blowout—it was the small, everyday struggles we ignored until they became too big to bear.
Here’s how those cracks looked in my marriage:
Words That Left Scars: Arguments turned into battles where we both fought to win instead of fighting for each other.
Life That Pulled Us Apart: The busyness of kids, work, and responsibilities left no time for us to truly connect.
Resentments That Grew Like Weeds: Unspoken frustrations built walls between us that felt impossible to climb.
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know you’re not alone. Marriages don’t break in a day—but with God, they can be healed step by step.
Step 1: Invite God Into the Process of Healing a Broken Marriage
The night I hit rock bottom, I prayed one of the most desperate prayers of my life: God, I can’t fix this. I don’t even know where to start. Please take over.
If you want to begin healing a broken marriage, you have to invite God into the mess. Let Him take the lead.
Here’s what that looked like for us:
We Started Praying Together: At first, it felt awkward—like forcing something we didn’t believe would work. But as we kept praying, God softened our hearts and broke down walls that had been building for years.
We Clung to Scripture: Verses like Psalm 34:18 reminded us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Those words became a lifeline when things felt impossible.
We Recommitted to Worship: Worship reminded us that our marriage wasn’t just about us—it was about glorifying God. It shifted our focus from our pain to His power.
Letting God lead doesn’t mean your marriage will be healed overnight, but it does mean you’re no longer trying to fix it in your own strength.
Step 2: Have the Hard Conversations You’ve Been Avoiding
For months, my spouse and I avoided the hard conversations. We were scared of what might come out if we started digging. But here’s what I learned: the truth will set you free—but first, it’s going to sting.
When we finally sat down to have those conversations, it was messy. There were tears, anger, and a lot of vulnerability. But it was the first real step toward healing.
Start With Honesty: I admitted things I hadn’t been able to say out loud before, like, “I feel like we’ve grown so far apart, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Listen Without Defending: One of the hardest things for me was learning to really listen. When my spouse shared their pain, I wanted to defend myself. But God reminded me to listen first.
Seek Help When Needed: A Christian counselor helped us navigate the conversations we couldn’t handle alone. Having someone guide us was a game-changer.
The hard conversations will feel uncomfortable, but they’re necessary if you want to rebuild trust and connection.
Step 3: Forgiveness Is the Key to Moving Forward
Forgiveness isn’t just a nice idea—it’s the key to healing a broken marriage. Without it, you stay stuck in a cycle of resentment and pain.
There were times I didn’t want to forgive. It felt easier to hold on to the hurt, to build walls so I wouldn’t get hurt again. But then God reminded me: How can you ask for My forgiveness if you won’t forgive your spouse?
Forgive Like Christ Forgave You: Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” That reminder changed everything for me.
Own Your Part: Forgiveness goes both ways. I had to take responsibility for the ways I’d hurt my spouse, too.
Choose Forgiveness Daily: Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision. It’s something you choose over and over again, especially when the pain resurfaces.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase the hurt, but it opens the door for God to begin healing.
Step 4: Rebuild Trust and Intimacy One Step at a Time
When your marriage feels broken, intimacy often feels out of reach. But I learned that rebuilding intimacy isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about small, consistent actions that rebuild trust brick by brick.
Start Small: For us, it was holding hands during prayer or taking walks together. Those small acts reminded us we were still a team.
Pray for Each Other Daily: Praying for my spouse softened my heart and reminded me of the love we were fighting for.
Make Time for Connection: Whether it was a simple date night or sitting together on the couch, we prioritized moments to reconnect.
Intimacy takes time to rebuild, but every step brings you closer to each other—and to God.
What I Learned About Healing a Broken Marriage
Looking back, I see how God used every painful moment to teach us, grow us, and ultimately heal us. Here’s what I know now:
God Can Restore Anything: No marriage is too broken for Him to heal.
Healing Takes Time: It’s not easy, and it won’t happen overnight—but it’s worth every step.
There’s Always Hope: Even when you feel like giving up, God is still at work behind the scenes.
If your marriage feels broken, know this: God’s not done with you yet.
Ready to Take the First Step?
Healing a broken marriage takes faith, action, and God’s grace. If you’re ready to start rebuilding, download my Guide to Conflict Repair for Christian Couples. It’s filled with practical steps and biblical truths to help you move forward.
If you need prayer or someone to talk to, reach out to me and book a consultation. Because no matter how broken things feel, God can make all things new.