Differences and Family Conflict
Let’s face it…. families have differences and because we have differences, conflict tends to intrude. Therefore, it is important to know how to work through conflict.
Not all conflict is bad. I mean life would be pretty boring if we were all the same, don’t you think?
Working through conflict in a healthy and positive manner can strengthen any relationship.
Below, I will tell you what actions to take to avoid the pitfalls of family conflict.
10 vital actions to employ when working through conflict
1. Set a time and place for discussion.
2. Define the problem and be specific.
3. List the ways each person in the relationship contributes to the problem.
4. List past attempts to resolve the problems that were not successful.
5. Brainstorm- makes a list of new ideas and 10 possible solutions to the problem. (Note: it is important that you not judge or criticize any of the solutions at this point.)
6. Discuss and evaluate each solution and be objective. Take turns talking about how useful and effective each solution feels for resolving the conflict.
7. Agree on a solution to try.
8. Agree on how each person will work toward solution.
9. Set up another meeting time and place to evaluate progress.
10. Reward each other for progress- praise each other for efforts made to resolve conflict. (R.D. Marks and Life Innovations, 2008)
Bible references for help with working through conflict
Colossians 3:19~Husbands love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Ephesians 4:26~Don’t sin by letting anger control you and don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Proverbs 14:29~People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
Ecclesiastes 7:8-9~Finishing is better then starting. Patience is better than pride. Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.
Romans 12:19~Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“ I will take revenge, I will pay them back,” says the Lord.
I Thessalonians 5:11~Encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
Romans 12:17~Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in a way that others will see you as honorable.
2 Timothy 1:7~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
Proverbs 17:9~Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.
Galatians 5:22-23~The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self- control. There is no law against these things.
Colossians 3:13~Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Let’s Talk About it!
What tools do you use to work through family conflict? How has God helped you through family conflict? Share in the comments below….
1 Marks, R.D. (2008) Ten steps for resolving conflict. Marriage for Life, Inc. Retrieved from www.prepare-enrich.com
2 Life Innovations (2008) Ten steps for resolving conflict. Retrieved from www.prepare-enrich.com
Note: This checklist was adapted from the Prepare-Enrich Ten Steps for Resolving Conflict. Bible Verses are from www.biblegateway.com.